"If you’ve ever sat next to someone on a plane who used your every move as an invitation to talk to you, congratulations: you now know what it’s like to be a woman."
it’s raining I just want to sleep
Anonymous said: My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.
Literally everyone on this website needs church
For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.
And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.
The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself
And sometimes it looks like he fell off …
ADVENTURES OF CAR DINOSAUR
cherish him forever